That Was Then; This Is Now

A few weeks ago it hit me.

I don’t think about it often. Only when I have one of those “how long have we known each other” conversation with one of my friends I’ve known what seems like forever. That’s when I go into the “normal” train of thought to figure out that answer. It starts out something like:

“Well, I’ve been back here since August 2001 . . .“


This week, for the Thursday blog topic I asked the group to do a little retrospective on the past decade of their life. I asked them to think about things like if they are where they thought they’d be, what’s the biggest surprise, etc.

The timing for this post is not a coincidence. It was about this time 10 years ago I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off getting the last minute details together for my big move back to the Chicagoland area. Questions like:

• Did AgmanB have his ticket to Portland?

• Were my middle brother and sil sorry they had offered to house me after seeing all the boxes I shipped arrive on a daily basis?

And most importantly, in the back of my mind, I questioned if I was doing the right by moving back home. I was picking up the pieces from a life fail and it felt as though I was doing something cliché by running back to what seemed like a security blanket – HOME.

Asking AgmanB to keep me company on the drive home was a risk. We were friends from high school, but hadn’t spent any significant amount of time together. What if we had nothing to talk about for four whole days? Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Actually, I think I picked the right person. AgmanB served as our entertainment director most of the time as I really love to drive. I can’t remember what we talked about, but I don’t recall there being any awkwardness or uncomfortable pauses in conversation. He kept things light-hearted which was perfect given the heavy nature of what was compelling me flee Portland.

“That Was Then”


The first couple of months… years… after moving back home were really about establishing myself again. Sure I had a built-in social network, but I didn’t want to rely on that for all my social activity. I knew I would have to branch out and development new friendships. However, that didn’t stop me from spending lots of time with BFF, AgManB and D – amongst others – at first. As time went on I'd make friends that were mine. People I had met on my own without the help of others. This was the first time in a long time this was the case. During my college and post-college years I had depended on one person in particular to make friends. Don’t get me wrong, I met some nice people this way; however, I wanted "my friends."

The other thing I wanted from this new life I was putting together was to go back to school for a graduate degree. I wasn’t sure in exactly what subject matter that degree would be, but I wanted to go back to school. Along those lines, I also wanted to explore a career in Human Resources. I was two years out of school and I didn’t feel the whole Public Relations track was possibility and HR had been something I was interested in as well. Last, but in no way least - I wanted my life to be an adventure. Up until that point, I hadn't tried anything adventurous. I played life VERY safe. It was time to take some chances and live life to the fullest.



This Is Now

I can tell you all about the cool stuff I've done over and goals I've accomplished over the past ten years like - traveling to Israel, nights out partying with my peeps, establishing myself as an Human Resource professional, etc.; however, the true significance in this ten year mile marker lies in the events of, and years following, 2008.

By far, 2008 was the hardest year I went through in the past ten years. Things I never would have imagined happening happened to me. However, when I look back at that year it was probably one of the best things that happened to me. In retrospect I look at 2008 as a wake-up call. I hadn't realized how far from away from "myself" I had traveled until everything went down.

For that matter, I didn't realize how far I had traveled away from myself until I recently got back to being "myself" again. I've talked a lot about this on this blog over the past months. Mainly because I was gone from this place for so long that my appreciation for who I am is even that much greater than it was before.

My career isn't where I want it to be - or for that matter where I thought it would be at this point in my life. There are aspects of my personal life that I would like to be different than they are momentarily. Also, if given a choice I wouldn't have gone through the events of 2008. However, despite those things I still thankful for the past decade of my life.

The young girl who drove cross-country to her security blanket is now a grown, mature woman who is thankful for what she does have and not as focused on what she doesn't. There is hope in her life for a even better tomorrow and an appreciation for all the experiences - good and bad - that she has had.

The last ten years have truly been an adventure. I will never forget them. However, I'm ready to put them to rest and look ahead to the future.


Now that I've talked about thoughts on the last ten years, please take a moment to see what my fellow bloggers have to say on the topic:

• Merryland Girl (Melissa)

• Mom of Many (Susanna)

• Momarock (Sara)