This Baby Got Back

For as long as I can remember I've carried the majority of my weight in the lower half of my body. With the passing of time I've gotten mixed messages about this fact - On many occasions I've been called a "fat-ass" or made fun of because of the way my body is shaped. On others, I've been ogled by men because of it.

Like I said, mixed messages . . .

As for my feelings towards my body shape, well, that is varied. If I had to pin-point the times I felt the worst about it I would tell you it's when I'm shopping for clothes. I feel bad when I fall in love with a dress and then it just looks awful on me because of my shape. Oh, don't get me started on shopping for pants. This year I had to go jeans shopping for the first time in many, many, many years. The first attempt didn't go so well and I felt fortunate enough that I left the fitting room with my self-esteem in tact. (Thankfully, it didn't take long for me to find not only one, but two pairs of jeans that made me fall in love with my body again.)

So, why am I talking about something so uber personal? Especially considering the topic of body image is one I have deliberately steered clear of since I started this blog three years ago.

This week Sara, the Thursday Blogging Project resident Momarock, asked us to discuss our thoughts on plastic surgery. Her exact questions were: Would you consider plastic surgery? If so, what type? Why would you, or why wouldn't you?

***SIGH***

Recently, I voluntarily stepped on a scale. Typically I save this activity for my annual check-up. I feel putting a number to this part of life only exacerbates any negative body image issues I may have. I say all this knowing that I'm not a big person. If I had to describe my body type I'd classify myself as average with curves. However, my weight and body shape have been an issue my whole life. Even as a child I was told I was fat and not the right weight for my height. Additionally, I was also teased about my body shape. As a result I'm an adult who struggles to walk on the higher side of the line between having a positive and negative body image.

At times, I secretly wish I could afford liposuction to get rid of the problem in the blink of an eye. Then, I realize that my wish is something I do not really wish for. See, as much as I'd like to believe that I believe in plastic surgery the truth is I don't. Or, at least I don't believe it is the right way to achieve a desired physical transformation. In other words, I don't believe it takes the place of diet and exercise.

Two months ago when I started running again I did so with the intention of achieving the goal of running a 5K. About a week or two into training I made the decision to start doing weight training as well. I had come to the realization that by combining the cardio from my runs with strength training I could achieve a new goal that had surfaced - I wanted to look as good on the outside as I currently feel on the inside. Ultimately, I know that once I reach "my" ideal weight and tone a few muscles, that have needed a bit of toning for sometime, I will feel a thousand times better about the change than had I just thrown some money at the problem by getting surgery.

With that in mind, there are a few exceptions to my beliefs regarding plastic surgery. If it were to help with a health issue such as breast reduction surgery or helping a burn victim then I am all for it. I just don't see it as "plastic surgery." To me it's more like reconstructing a life.

It's when people, mostly women, use it to create the ideal body or try to defy the aging process that I begin to have a problem with it. I guess one could argue that it helps one self-esteem and psychological well-being, but no matter how perfect you may look on the outside I honestly believe it isn't the cure for feeling great on the inside.

Now that you've read about my thoughts on plastic surgery, this "baby with back" encourages you to read what my fellow bloggers have to say on the topic:

• Momarock (Sara)

• Merryland Girl (Melissa)

• Mom of Many (Susanna)

Until later . . .