My Life "To Do" List

During my junior year of high school my English teacher, Mrs. Dumalski, required us write in a notebook about various topics. One of those topics was a list of things we'd like to do in our life. I guess in some regards it's like a "bucket list," but I hate thinking of it that way because to me that term implies some fast approaching end to life and I don't want to think that way.

While I was searching through some older posts recently, I came across this post. It talks about all my attempts to journal. It also references my life "to do" list I wrote for Mrs. D's class when I was 17-years-old.

While reading this list this time around, I had an overwhelming feeling of amazement come over me. It was the first time I realized how closely this list represents the things I've either achieved, or still desire to achieve, without even having really looked at the list since it was first penned. I guess this speaks volumes to the sincerity of the goals I aspired to, and the sense of myself I apparently had at that point in my life.

This time around, instead of just listing them out, again, I've decided add a bit of commentary around each most of them.... Oh, and I get to check a few of them off the list (I love checking things off lists).

√ Finish college with a degree

I'm not sure how I would finish college and not have a degree so this kind of sounds funny to me. I think I meant was that I wanted to earn a Bachelor's degree. With that in mind, I not only have a undergraduate degree (Bachelor of Science), but also a graduate degree (Master of Business Administration).

- > Amendment: Now the goal is to earn a Doctorate degree.

• Learn to speak two foreign languages

I've shied away from learning foreign languages. I believe this primarily has to do with my experience trying to learn French in 5th grade. Oh, and trying to learn Hebrew as well.

(It's funny how a bad experience at such a young age can influence you so many years later.)

In I learned basic Sign Language. These days I only remember a little Sign Language because I don't use it very often. I have, however, encountered some deaf individuals over the years and tried to sign as best I could. Typically, my attempt to communicate this way has been appreciated and the people I was speaking with were patient with me.

I think this warrants half a check.

-> Amendment: I'd like to take a stab at French again. Additionally, I'd like to add Italian to the list. I believe enhance the experience of the next item on this list.

• Travel around Europe

Though I've been to England and Ireland there are many more countries I'd like to see. Some of the place I'd like to go include: France, Italy, Australia, Spain and Asia. (Just to name a few)

Again, half a check.

• Camp in the mountains

Yeah . . . Still haven't done this. I've camped at a Bedouin camp in Israel and in Western Illinois as well; however, not the mountains as this goal specifies.

Another half check?

√ Keep in touch with everyone I want to after graduation

I have friends spanning 20+ years. I think I've achieved this goal.

√ Learn how to stop biting my nails every time I get nervous

Oddly enough, the last time I was under immense stress my nail actually grew.

• Learn to take professional pictures

WOW! I'm amazed that I put this down. Guess photography has always been a part of me - even when I didn't have a camera.

I'm not a professional photographer, but I'm constantly working on improving my skills. I don't know about making photography a profession, but maybe a side job some day.

√ Lose a pant size

Ah yes, vanity. I can check this one off.

• Live to see my 100th birthday in 2075

I always look at this one and laugh because I have no control over this, but I do hope it happens.

• Develop my singing talent

This remains on the list. Haven't done anything with this in years, but I'd like to get back into a singing group environment again some day.

• Develop my dancing skills

This stays on the list as well.


√ Always push myself to achieve more than I have

Most recent example -> Plan B. Enough said . . .

• Influence political people on important issues

Hmmmm . . . maybe if Plan B is actually achieved than I will be in a position to influence political people on issues I deem important. That said, even if it isn't achieved, I can still work on being influential in the political arena if I really felt passionate about doing so.

• Climb Mt. Everest

Ambitious!!! I'm keeping it on the list.

• Become famous

Another, hmmmm . . . I don't know that I'll be some big famous celebrity type, but it's possible I could be famous in my own little world of people/community.

Honestly, I'm not really sure where this one came from. It's not like me to want the spotlight. That's why I think if I were it would be within my own community.

√ Stay healthy

Always working on this one . . .

• Die peacefully

This is another I look at and realize I have no control over. I do hope this is the case when the time comes.

√ Help people

Though I'm putting a check by this item I don't plan to stop helping others - it brings me happiness.


So what's next?

Well, I'm happy to see that I've actually done some of these things, and started working on others. I want to continue working on these things. They truly are representative of the adventures and experiences I wish to have in life.

Additionally, I plan to add to the list. Back in January I posted a "bucket list" on this blog. Although, as I stated in the beginning of this post, I don't like the term "bucket list" I used that term because I had just watched the movie, "The Bucket List."

Some of the items I have on this list were on that list as well - such as learn French. With that in mind, there are new items to be added. Once I have a little more time, and energy, I will post them to this blog. Until then, I will continue to marvel in the things I set out to do as a young adult, and continue to strive for today.

Until later . . .

30 Day Song Challenge: This Time Last Year (A Confession)

There was this boy.

We met online. Honestly, I wasn't looking for a relationship, or even planning on dating at that moment. I had broken up with someone and I just went onto the dating web site to closeout the connection to that person. That's when this one communication request jumped out at me. As I read the information in his profile I was greatly compelled to respond - but I wasn't looking for a relationship .... Next thing I knew, after a series of "guided communication" questions and many, many, many e-mails, there was a date planned with this boy.

"I don't know. I'm not sure."

That is what I told BFF and S when they asked about the date. It wasn't normal for me to be so indifferent - especially about a boy. I may be a lot of things, but indifferent is not one of them.

'Til this day, I still wonder if BFF was ever suspect of what was going on. I know she wondered why I continued to date someone I appeared to be indifferent about, but I wonder if she knew what was happening to me before I figured it out for myself.

I can tell you the exact moment I fell for said boy. It was on our first date. We were having frozen yogurt and chatting it up about . . . well, I can't remember exactly what we were chatting it up about, but I do remember looking at him and getting "a feeling." It scared the shit out of me. The more and more I got to know him the more and more I felt this feeling. This caused me to continue declaring "I don't know" to my friends.

Who was I kidding? I did in fact know. A few months into the relationship my friends FireFly and Susanna the Short began telling me to stop kidding myself about how I felt and just admit the truth - oh, and to enjoy it.

Day 30: Your favorite song this time last year . . . .

I won't share anymore details about this relationship. (They aren't for public consumption.) All I will say is that this story does not end with "and they lived happily ever after."

Recently, while I was syncing my iPod with my computer, I noticed that iTunes tracks and displays the number of times you've played each song. Out of curiosity I arranged the songs by the number of plays. That is when I discovered this song at the top of the list . . . My jaw dropped. I knew why it was at the top of the list, but I guess I never expected that I had played the song a few hundred times.

(I could pretend like this wasn't my favorite song last year, and furthermore why it was my favorite song, but the only person I'd really be fooling is myself - and I already did that, once.)

Looking back, this should have been my second clue that "I don't know" was just my way of trying to protect my heart which at the time was trying to run a-muck with giddiness and happiness. If only . . .

Until later . . .