What's On My Mind

Sometimes, in order to get to sleep I have to write down my thoughts. This is one of those times....

• I didn't do anything I should have done tonight (or is it last night). Either way, I slacked. I slacked for the first time in weeks. Maybe I'll regret this on Monday, but tonight I enjoyed relaxing.

• After Monday, there is nothing left for me to do that pertains to "Plan B." It will all be left up to fate. I'm nervous and calm all at once. It's an odd feeling. This also makes me realize that I regain my life again. My schedule will be a lot less rigid than it has been in a long time. I'm starting to wonder how I'm going to fill-up my time. I mean training for a 5K can't take up THAT much time - can it?!

• Speaking of free time . . . The volunteer project I've been working on since October just wrapped-up. I've been asked if I'm interested in joining a new project. I'm torn on what to do. I've enjoyed both projects I've worked on over the past year and a half, but as I said above I haven't had much time for other things in my life over the past six months. Part of me wants to take the next six months off. Part of me realizes that all these things are ending this month and though I'm sure I'll enjoy having some downtime I believe I'll be craving, once again, the busy, hectic schedule I've grown accustom too.

All this leads me to the fact that I have yet to let the organization know whether or not I'm interested in joining a new project team. Maybe I should just flip a coin?!

• One new volunteer avenue I've been thinking about is working on an organic farm once a month. It could be an amazing experience. It would definitely be something different for me. It would surely be a learning experience as well.

• "But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that." ~ Good Will Hunting (Chuckie)

• I keep thinking about Oprah's last show. I didn't really watch the show this past season, but I did watch the last show. I'm glad I didn't miss it. A lot of what she said struck a cord with me.

• It just hit me today is June 4th. June 4th is a special day for me. Over the past seven years June 4th has always been an extra special good day. Each year it's been something different. Sometimes the reason has been something really big, and other something simple. Either way, it's always been a good day. I anticipate today to be the same.

• They put into effect a "quiet car" policy on one of the public transportation systems as of June 1st. I love that they've done this. It's definitely high time they put such a program into effect. Here's the thing, some people think that"quiet car" means you can talk, but in a low voice. I was tempted to say something to those people, but I really didn't feel like being "that" person.

While talking to someone about all this today it was shared with me that they are considering allowing mobile phone usage on airplane. Something about companies wanting their employees to maximize their time while traveling for business. The thought of this makes me cringe. I really hope this doesn't happen.

• A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with Lupus. They found out this week which means they are just processing the news, trying to learn more about the disease and what to anticipate. I don't want to ask a lot of questions because 1) they don't have answers and 2) I feel as though they will share with me, in time, what they want too.

I'm still trying to process this. I know medicine has come a long way, but I hate to see a good friend be in this position regardless. Especially someone so young (they are a few years younger than myself). Also, this someone I hold in high regards (like a lot of my friends) so I don't like seeing this happen to them.

I keep telling myself everything will be okay and that they will live a long, healthy life.

• I wish I could read minds so I can understand why some people do the things they do; or, for that matter why some people don't do certain things.

• I wish I could be brave.

• The numbers from all the practices this last week range from 138 to as high as 152. I hope the final outcome this time is somewhere close, if not at, that 152 mark. It would mean so much to me for so many reasons. If you understand what I'm talking about than I'd be willing to bet you've been through this yourself - or know someone who has been through it.

• I'm getting tired. I think this exercise may have actually helped me.


Until later . . .