There Are Seven

I am:

Sneezy:

I sneeze in threes.

Spend enough time with me and it won't take you long to figure this out. Since day one, my whole sneezing in threes has been a big joke amongst my coworkers. Instead of saying "G-d bless you" after I sneeze those that sit around me wait until they hear the third sneeze. If there is a significant enough pause, they will ask if there is anymore coming. I'm not kidding.

Since I've been going in and out of hot and cold environments I've developed a little bit of a cold. This has caused me to sneeze more than usual.

At first the whole to-do about my sneezing was a bit embarrassing, but I got over that quickly and just started joking about it along with everyone else.


Sleepy:

Ok, I'm not tired ALL the time, but when I get really tired I crash - Quickly! Actually, when I'm tired and know I have to stay awake I will do so; however, once I've fulfilled my commitment that was keeping me from resting I totally shut down. Recently I was so tired one day at work I was counting how long I had until the ride home. The minute I took my seat on the train I pulled out my ticket and shut my eyes. I didn't wake up until it was time for me to get off. It was blissful!

For the first five weeks of 2011 I was tired all the time. I was living a hectic schedule that I was not use to handling. As a result I would fall asleep early in the evening and then wake up around midnight. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again for a couple of hours so the cycle would repeat itself.

These days I can handle stressful/hectic schedules a lot better. There are, however, some nights I just don't get the sleep I need. This results in me being sleepy and seeking moments during the day I can take a power nap.

When I have these "sleepy" days you can totally tell... it's written all over my face. Or, at least that is the way it appears to me when I look in the mirror.


Grumpy:


Lack of sleep leads me to be grumpy.

I'm very good about letting people close to me know when I'm grumpy... I believe in giving people warning on these days as it effects how I process information and my response to things that are said. On these days I often have trouble interrupting sarcasm and jokes as being such and am a bit more sensitive about things that were meant as just joking.


Doc:

I tend to lead. Or, at least it has been my observation that I have a tendency to lead. Though, I could be wrong about this. Anyhow... sometimes I'm not as articulate as I would like to be. I have a difficult time expressing myself.


Dopey:

OMG! Can I be clumsy at times. For the first couple of months of 2011 I managed to injure myself in some way, shape or form.

In January I cut a toe so badly that wouldn't stop bleed . . . or at least it didn't seem to stop bleeding. I even went to the emergency room because it wouldn't stop bleeding - I was that concerned about it. Thankfully, it stopped bleeding before I actually saw a doctor and got charged for the visit.

In early February I slipped on ice and broke my fall with my right arm. I didn't break anything, but it hurt - for some time. Since I was in a rush to get somewhere when it happened all I could think was, "Ok, at least it wasn't the hand I write with" and went on with my day.



Bashful:

I'm really a shy person, however you really wouldn't know it. As time has passed I've gotten good at not letting that over power me in social situations. I've gotten a lot more comfortable going to events where I don't know anyone and still be perfectly comfortable.

Happy:

Need I say more?





You may be wondering what the above was all about.... This week, for the blogging project Melissa - aka Merryland Girl - ask us to talk about: Which Disney character we could relate to the most. So, my approach wasn't exactly in the parameters of the topic, but The Seven Dwarfs are characters that I can relate too. :)

Now that I've share with you which Disney character I can relate to the most, please take a moment to see what my fellow bloggers have to say:


• Merryland Girl (Melissa)

• Mom of Many (Susanna)

• Momarock (Sara)


Until later . . .

How Many In 9 Minutes

It's 10 minutes until midnight. I have 9 minutes to come-up with as many thoughts as possible. The "publish" button must be pushed at 11:59PM - or at least that is my rule on this post for tonight. So here I go . . .

• The pot of water is simmering and I can't seem to not stare at it. I like life better when I wasn't looking. I wasn't as stressed and anxious.

• That would be wHine, not wIne. Though they both wHine and wIne seem as though they'd go together quite nicely.

• I still care.

• This is a lesson on how to manage difficult people.

• To participate in roller derby or not participate in roller derby that is the question.

• I'm nervous.

• Who knew it was that easy to blow through so many text messages in one month.

• These thought posts take a lot longer to compose than I realize.

• It's 11:59 PM... I have to push "publish" now...

Until later . . .

Making My Way To My First 5K

It was back in April when I first toyed with the idea of taking up running again. I had attended a wedding where I was seated with a group of individuals who participate in triathlons. As much as I wanted to start running back them, I had other things in my life I was focusing on and really couldn't find the time to fit it into my schedule. So, I made myself a promise... I would start training for a 5K race (to be run sometime this Fall) as of June 12th.

It might seem like it was a random date to pick, but it wasn't. That is when my schedule would free-up and I would be able to dedicate the time I needed to train. Sure, I walked a lot during the summer and I had been walked at a minimum 10 miles a week because my daily routine required me too, but I also knew that I hadn't had a regular workout routine in several years and it would take some time to get back in the swing of things.

Prior to starting I made sure to invest in a good pair of running shoes. Even with running shoes I knew this new undertaking of mine would take a toll on my knees and I wanted to mitigate the damage as much as I could.

Not too long after I began running again I decided that it might behoove me to start weight training. My focus unexpectedly started to shift a bit. Not only did I want to train for this infamous 5k I planned to run, but now I suddenly wanted to get in shape. Beyond my normal "winter weight" there are a few pounds I've been wanting to shed for some time and I knew just running would not facilitate that process.

It's been a month since I started working toward this goal. At this point in time I can't really tell you how much, if any, weight I've lost from running and weight training... I kind of haven't gotten on a scale yet to see where my weight is at. I have, however, begun to seen progress in my running and more importantly my enthusiasm for a regular exercise regime. Additionally, it has further enhanced my outlook on life in general (I'll get more into that in a later post.)

As I continue work towards towards running my first 5K race I plan to blog about the experience. I say my first race because tonight S asked me tonight if I wanted to run a local St. Paddy's Day race next March... yes, I haven't even run my first race and I'm already planning for my second one. (A very me thing to do!)

In the meantime, I hope you will continue to read about my experiences as I make my way to my first 5K!

Until later . . .

Regret?

During the course of this Thursday blogging project topics have come along that just don't sit well with me for one reason or another. I have admit, when Sara gave us the task of writing about our greatest regret I wasn't exactly chomping at the bit to get started.

My reaction mainly has to do with the fact that there are many things that have taken place in my life I could pinpoint as a great regret. Also, on more occasions than I would like to admit, I have found myself stating I regretted (insert event). The truth of the matter that I don't regret those things. I know it sound cliche, but they are a part of my life and I know I'm a better person because of those experiences.

So, I sat for some time pondering what I was going to write about because I still felt there had to be something I regretted . . . it wasn't until I saw a yellow post-it note that was on the desk I was sitting at that it hit me what my greatest regret is.

The words on the post-it was a line from Maroon 5's song "Misery":

"It's not what I didn't feel; it's what I didn't show."

The words hit me hard. When I first think about those words I think of them regarding romantic relationships that I was too scared to show how I was really feeling - or I took a long time to reveal. However, after further rumination I realized the words also applied in other situations in my life. See there is a lot of unspoken feelings I have toward those close to me. Mainly feelings of gratitude and thanks. Part of the reason for this has to do with the assumption that these people know how much I appreciate what they have done for me. The other reason has to do with the question of when is the best time to thank someone for something they did so long ago. The answer I came up with - Anytime.

Like with my life experiences that I have on occasion professed regret towards, my regret toward my lack of expression is short-lived. It's something I'm working on changing. It's something that will make me an even better person.

Now that I have shared by greatest regret, please take a moment to read what my fellow bloggers have to say:


• Momarock (Sara)

• Merryland Girl (Melissa)

• Mom of Many (Susanna)

Until later . . .

Joe

When I chose this week's topic, "If you could rid the world of something, what would it be?” I wasn't intending to write what this post is going to be about. However, as today drew near I realized what I wanted to write about.

I have three distinct memories of Joe Wishnoff.

The first memory comes from the first time I met him at a dinner held by the ex's company. We were at the downtown Dave and Busters. If the ex hadn't told me about Joe's condition beforehand, there is no way I would have known about it. You couldn't tell by looking at him. On the surface he was a young, outgoing, fun-loving guy. However, on the inside he was a late-twenty something fighting *Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF). As I sat and talked to Joe, all I could think was how positive and full of life he appeared to be. Honestly, there would be many times throughout the few years I knew him that I would forget about his condition and have to be reminded.

The second memory I have of Joe took place at my home. Well, sorta of at my home . . . see, one night I came downstairs in "home appropriate" attire, not realizing the ex was video chatting with a friend - the friend being Joe. Needless to say unbeknown to me (until after the fact) Joe saw me in my "home appropriate" attire. Let's just say I was not happy that I wasn't forewarned and I was also embarrassed to some extent. However, as time went on we'd all laugh about the incident.

The last memory was in 2007, on my birthday. We had bumped into each other on our way to the same place. Besides being one of the few times I saw him wearing his oxygen tank and walking slowly as he made his way to the elevator, it was the first time that I could honestly say I saw Joe express any sign of weakness, or sadness, about his situation. It wasn't something that would be obvious to anyone around us. The only reason I knew was from a simple comment he made to me as we traveled to our destination.

This would be the last time I saw Joe.

I wasn't super close to Joe, but when I heard of his passing my heart sank into my stomach. I can't express the sadness I felt. That was July 14, 2008. To be honest it was a difficult day for me to begin with for personal reasons I won't get into, however when I got a call about it just added to the sadness I was already feeling that day.

Over the past three years I've thought about Joe periodically. Sometimes at the most random times. When these moments arise, I remember his passion for life even in the hardest times. I remember how he grabbed life by the horns despite the obstacles it presented him. I remember his ambition, even when the odds were stacked against him.

Amongst the many things I learned from Joe I learned to be thankful for every day I have and to make the most of life. I also learned that feeling sorry for yourself doesn't take you far. Additionally, Joe was an example, and inspiration, to me of how one should live their life. That even when it may seem like the universe is against you, that doesn't mean you give up. I also learned from him that though you may have had to suffer it doesn't mean others have too. He was a voice for others with IPF with the hope to make the world a better place for others.

If I had to rid my world of anything it would be the tendency I have to not remember the lessons I learned from Joe's presence in my life. Lessons that surely could get me through the harder days life may throw at me. Thankfully, tomorrow is always another chance to get it right.

Hopefully as time goes on, and life throws me more curve balls, I will remember to think of Joe and handle them with more grace and humility than I have during other moments in my life.

Now that I have told you what I would rid my world of, please take a moment to see what my fellow bloggers have to say:


• Mom of Many (Susanna)

• Momarock (Sara)

• Merryland Girl (Melissa)

Until later . . .

*IPF is a rare lung disease that causes lung tissue to prematurely scar and age, making it extremely difficult to breathe

The Post That Never Really Posted

I thought I posted this on Saturday, but I was mistaken. So, I'm trying this again. . . with a bit more added on . . .

This past week BFF used the term "brain dump" in one of our many conversations. OMG! LOVE the term! It totally describes what I do in these thought posts.

I decided it was time for a brain dump - I have a lot on my mind. So this is a chance I might actually post more than my typical 14 bullet points... but we shall see.

• Two weeks ago I got some news that made me feel like I could rule the world. Now, I don't really want to rule the world, but I felt so good that I felt as though I could have. I liked feeling this way. It was a tad different for me to feel so full of myself, but in a way it was a nice change.

There were a few who were THRILLED to hear I felt this way. They hadn't seen me like this - ever.

• I think it should be mandatory that everyone who rides the Metra on a somewhat regular basis has a train buddy. I highly recommend having one. It makes commuting a lot more entertaining.

• As long as I'm talking about commuting on the train... If you happen to see someone on the train knitting, please don't stare at them. A few people did this to me this week. I realize they were looking because they were admiring what I was making (they told me this while we were getting off the train), but at the time it made me feel uncomfortable. Even after three years of knitting in public I still don't feel comfortable with people staring at me while I knit. It makes me want to ask them how they'd feel if I was staring at them for an extended period of time.

(Ok, vent over . . .)

• .... and the moral of the story is that there are actually honest, good people who will turn in your monthly pass to lost and found when they find it. So take a minute and put your contact information on the back of your pass - it could save you a lot of money - trust me, I know what I'm talking about!

• It's weird to think that by as early as this month, or as late as September, I'll have all the answers I've been waiting so long to receive. So far there have been a handful of them that I haven't liked - and one I've liked. I'd like another I like... just my preference.

• I've still been really bad about getting my "to do" list completed. The other night I listed eight things I wanted to do that evening - I only got one of them done. I blame this on working-out. After I workout all I want to do is sit and zone-out... which is what I end up doing more often than not.

• I still care and I don't want to care anymore. I want to be over it, but I'm not.

• Actually, a lot of people want me to get past this. A lot of people want to make a phone call I refuse to make. Even my train buddy suggested I make this phone call. When he told me this it was kind of ... well.... it made me realize how transparent I am. I mean I was trying to be all strong about it when the subject came up, but I know he could see how sensitive the topic was for me. I really didn't mean to venture on to the topic with TB, but it just sorta happened... and of course it happened right before I was getting off the train. It was such a delightful was to end our conversation that day.

• Non-boyfriend and non-girlfriend are two terms I throw around a lot lately. A lot of my friends laugh at me when I use them. However, one person in my life has a non-boyfriend and another a non-girlfriend. I use these terms because these individuals claim to not be in relationships though they really are. It's my way of respecting there wishes to not use the boyfriend/girlfriend term, but at the same time expressing how I feel.

• There needs to be an extra day during the weekend. On this extra day I'm not allowed to make plans or do anything other than clean, run errands and relax at home.

• I might need to go for a third round of testing. If I do, it will be my last chance to do this until February 2013. Additionally, I have to start prepping again if I'm going to do this in October. I also need to get LD testing done before the registration deadline as well so I can get an accommodation for my LD this time around.

• On a related note, a friend of mine is considering taking the same test that I am speaking up above. He told me he looked at sample problems and couldn't believe how hard they were. I agreed it's a difficult test, but didn't tell him that I enjoyed the challenge. He hasn't said anything to me as to whether or not he's going to take the test. I'll be interested to see what his final decision ends up being.

• I'm not sure how the others in my blogging group feel about this, but I have to say it's sometimes difficult to think of a topic for everyone to write about - even if it's only every four weeks.

• Back in April my friends and I were all about comparing and contrasting what we felt was the best place to get a chai latte. Today, it was all about hamburgers and fries.

Personally, I have to say that Five Guys is overrated. I was greatly disappointed. Meatheads is also overrated. I am yet to be impressed by a hamburger place lately. I have heard, however, that In and Out Burger in CA is a life-changing experience. Guess I need to make a trip out to Cali to do some research.

• I didn't realize how fast I walk until I was stuck behind people who walk much slower than I do.

• I have a texting addiction. Phew! That felt good to get off my chest!

• I wasn't nervous, or waiting by the mail box, until people started asking me if I was nervous and waiting by the mailbox.

• Honestly, whatever happens; happens. I don't have control over the situation anymore. I've done everything I can do and I just have to trust that whatever happens next is what is meant to be - and that it happens for a good reason.

• So, if I get a good fortune from a fortune cookie I put the date on the back of it and keep it. Here are some that I've gotten over the past six months that have actually "come true":

-> "The current year will bring you much happiness." (January 21, 2011)

-> "Good news will come to you by mail." (April 18, 2011)

-> "Your perspective will shift." (April 28, 2011)

This all leads me to the most recent fortune I received that was worth of keeping in the back of my mind:

-> "Good things are coming to you." (July 2, 2011)

... Here's to hoping that is the case!

• First was sky diving, then trying to learn how to ride a motorcycle. So, it only makes sense that roller derby is being taken under consideration at the moment.

• Alarms are good things. (I learned that the hard way last week.)

• A friend of mine who is Modern Orthodox invited me to spend Shabbos at an Orthodox home. They felt it might be nice for me since I was mentioning, often, how crazed and exhausted I was recently. They thought I could use some "enforced down time." The e-mail included details that this included no phone, twitter, facebook, e-mail and knitting. Oddly enough, of all the items on this list of prohibited activities, the one I had the greatest reaction too was the "no knitting." I seriously thought it would have been the ones detailing with computer/phone use.

Anyhow, I'm considering taking them up on their offer. It would be an interesting experience - possibly.

• I'm sure there is more to put on this list, but I'm exhausted and I have yet another early morning. So -

Until later . . .

Who I Was. Who I Am. Who I Will Be?

As of today I have been blogging for three years. Over the past couple of years I found myself taking a step back to about this time of year and looking at my life. In 2009 and last year, this mainly had to do with the events that took place in 2008 - a series of events that had a large impact on my life. This year, however, the major catalyst for this reflection has nothing to do with the any of the events of 2008. Instead, it has to do with things that have taken place during the first six months of 2011.

Who I Was.

Initially when I think about "who I was" my thoughts go back to late 2003/early 2004, not 2008. It's the last time I felt like I was "me." That statement seems a little weird to say, but if you've ever experienced a time in your life when you feel you had drifted far from who you really were, then you get what I am saying.

During this period of time I made a series of decisions that at the time I felt were what I wanted, and were right for me, but ultimately changed me in ways I would have never imagined and wouldn't realize until years later.

Long before I started this blog back in 2008 my zest for life and "go get 'em" out look had been beaten down. A lot of the things I aspired to do in my life had fallen by the wayside and my outlook on life was not so inspirational. Despite my ever-present internal optimist, my outward cynic had taken over more than I ever imagined it would. I did what I had to do to get by, but that was it.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't think I had what it took to achieve greatness; deep inside I knew I did. However, I had allowed a darker force to take that feeling away from me. As a result there was a void in my life that I couldn't seem to fill. A void that would make even feeling content with life seem so far away, or even impossible. Negativity had taken over me - one that I would not recognize for sometime.


Who I am.

When I began to blog back in 2008, this "dark force" I speak of was beginning to leave my life - literally. However, the impact of its presence still remained with me for a few more years.

There were signs in early 2009 that the "old me" was returning, but a full reemergence hadn't taken place. It really wasn't until this past March that I even started to think that there was actually a chance that I would be "me" again. Then, I hit a major turning point. I wrote a personal statement, which seemed to fully wipe away any traces of the dark force in my life.

Since that point in time I have felt a change. It's a change that others in my life have recognized as well. The first person to mention this change to me was FireFly. She even did the unthinkable - she used the "H" word in regards to me. What's the "H" word? Happy. Out of context you can't understand why that would come up, but nonetheless she said I was "happy now." Then, StarFruitKnits said it. Even Yelper picked up on this change in me despite the fact that we've never actually met in person. When I asked how he knew this was the case he said, there is a difference in my responses and the things I talk about.

What makes being "me" again even better than before is the fact that I never thought I'd get here. I've regained my zest for life and "go get 'em" mindset. Actually, I've also gained a sense of peace and calm that I have never felt before.

Sure the past couple of years have changed me, but the fact that I've mostly returned to who I was is such a reassuring feeling. I'll even go on record by saying: I am in fact happy.

I still have bad days - we all do. However, when those times come around I view them differently than I have in the past.


Who I will be?

Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball so I can see what the future has in store me. Other days, I find not knowing is part of the fun of life. As for who I will be in the future, I have a few ideas. Now that I am me again, I feel the possibilities are limitless. Actually, there are a few things that I have in mind for my future. Whether or not each and every one of these things will come to pass is yet to be seen.

At the end of the day, I feel a deep sense that the best is yet to come for me and, more importantly, I know that I'm on my way to being the best person I can possibly be.



Until later . . .

Hotel Queen

It's Thursday once again which means it's time for another Thursday Blog Project topic. This week, Susanna, the Mom of Many, asked us to discuss: Your worst vacation experience.

After much thought on about this topic I decided to alter it a tad. There isn't one bad vacation experience that jumps out at me to talk about. If I've had any bad vacations, it had more to do with my companion then anything else. Since I don't want to point a finger at anyone one particular person I will not get into details on that matter. Instead, I will talk about the term "Hotel Queen" and how I became familiar with it.

In 2007, the ex and I traveled to Ft. Worth for my youngest cousin's oldest daughter's Bat Mitzvah. My mom came with us as well. However, the ex and I decided to stay in different lodging accommodations than my mom - less expensive accommodations. Even though the ex was tall we went with a queen size bed because we knew it would be fine for just a few nights. Or so we thought.

Upon arriving, we came to find out this queen size bed was more like a full size bed. For someone as tall as he is, it wasn't going to work. We talked about moving locations, but we didn't (though I can't quite remember why though). Instead, we took turns sleeping in the bed while the other slept on the sofa that was in the room. Let's just say it made the trip challenging.

We talked to management about this matter and they claimed we had a room with a queen size bed. Actually, what they said was that it was a "hotel queen," which was apparently slightly smaller than a queen size bed you or I would purchase for our home.

Until this day I really don't buy this explanation. Actually, I need to check with Bostonian about this because he use to work in the hospitality industry. If anyone would know if they were bullshitting us it would be him. At the end of the day, I complained enough that we got a refund on our stay and many rewards points to "compensate" us. (I don't believe that was the only thing wrong with these accommodations, but it surely was the main issue.)

Oh, both the ex and I got food poisoning on this trip as well. I can say with confidence we were both very happy when we finally got home.

Now that I've talked about a bad travel experience of mine, please take a few moments to read what my fellow bloggers have to say about their worst vacation experience:

• Mom of Many (Susanna)

• Momarock (Sara)

• Merryland Girl (Melissa)