Hey There Sexy!

For the longest time, my friend Yelper would start our chat conversations with by saying, "Hey Sexy!"

I'd cringe each and every time; "Sexy" was not a word I thought described me. Cute, pretty, sweet...ok, I'll go with those; however, "sexy" was a word I was not comfortable being use to describe me. Eventually, we once had a long discussion about why I wanted him to stop this behavior.... and afterwards he respected my wishes.

It's not Thursday, but this is my Thursday Blogging Group post... For this week's post I simply gave the group a topic and asked them to write about it in anyway they saw fit. The topic: Sexuality. .

Writing about the topic of sexuality of is a fitting way for me to end the summer. I feel it's been an ongoing theme in my life over the past three months. (Before I continue, I feel the need to say what I'm about to talk about is not about sex itself. This is NOT about my sex life.) What it is about , however, is the transformation that I have felt over the months when it come my comfort with my body and how I perceive other view me.

A few weeks ago, in the post This Baby Got Back I talked about the body issues I've had over the years and why, though tempting, I wouldn't opt for plastic surgery to resolve them These issues have fed into how I see myself, how I feel about myself and my sexuality.

The first time I had to really confront any of these things recently was back in June when I started running and working out. The extremely hot weather this summer forced me to wear workout clothes that I would otherwise would have not. Normally I am all about an over-sized t-shirt, however because I needed to stay cool my typical running attire has been a sports top and a pair of long boxers. The first time I wore these I was extremely self-conscious. I felt extremely exposed. Overtime, I got more comfortable I got more comfortable with this attire, but I still struggled with my comfort level.

I'm not sure when the switch flipped and I started feel more comfortable in my skin (or more comfortable than I ever have). I think it was during the month of July sometime. This summer, the heat was awful and instead of my normal office-friendly khakis during the week I opted for sundresses. I looked nice and keep cool-ish... or at least cooler than I was in long pants. As a result, people started reacting to me differently. I know it sounds silly, but I could tell a difference. Before I knew it, I was wearing sundresses and nice clothes not only during the week, but on the weekends as well. It made me feel good about me. For the first time, in a long time, I would look in the mirror and really liked what I saw.

Tying all this back to the theme of sexuality . . . I think being comfortable with yourself is an important part of sexuality. A lot of people I know took notice of this change in how I presented myself to the world. There was also a noticeable difference in my openness to express my sexuality. I'm not blatant when it comes to expressing my sexual side - or at least not in public. However, as I was making the transition I did notice a desire to have at least a bit of a subtle sex appeal.

The more I learn about roller derby the more I realize that there is a subtle sexuality to the sport. Though it isn't required, a lot of the woman who participate in the sport rock sexy looks. As I was shopping for derby duds last weekend, I found myself checking out the possibility of purchasing a pair of hot pant (aka - Daisy Dukes or Booty Shorts). This is something I've never purchased before and honestly didn't think was a look I could rock. However, when I started my derby adventure I promised myself I would try things that were outside of my comfort zone...

I have to admit, I kind of miss Yelper starting our conversation with "Hey Sexy!" I'm comfortable with it now and don't mind being described in that manner. When I think of this I smile. I like that I'm in this place when it comes to my sexuality. It feels nice to have the confidence to feel this way and furthermore be able to admit it.

Now that I've shared some thoughts of mine on sexuality, please take a moment to read what my fellow bloggers have to say:

• Momarock (Sara)

• Merryland Girl (Melissa)

• Mom of Many (Susanna)

Until later . . .