Years ago, Oprah had this show where families of murder victims had face-to-face conversations with the individuals who committed the murders. They got to ask the individual all the questions they had about the events that unfolded leading up to the fateful act.
I watched the show and I have to tell you it surprised me. I thought these people were crazy. At the time, I commented that I didn't know that I could do that. Or, would want to do that had it been my loved one they killed. Furthermore, why would you want to do such a thing? Was the criminal sorry because of what they did or because they ended up in jail for what they did?
The main goal, I believe was closure. Closure for the loved ones. Closure for the person who committed the act. However, the key to the whole process is that everyone involved was honest and sincere in their communications. (Or at least I would think so.) I guess the thought was if everyone was going into the process willingly then they would sincere and honest.
After watching the show, I believe all parties were, or at least appeared to be, truly genuine in their expressions and in the end benefited.
Fast forward to current. Recently, I find myself thinking about that Orpah show from time-to-time. I still don't know if I could do such a thing (hopefully I will never experience such horrible circumstance to warrant such a thing), but I don't think what they did was as crazy as I first thought it was. Actually, I think it was a very smart thing to do. It gave these people the chance to potentially get answers to questions they carried with them for so long. It gave them a chance to close a chapter in their life that needed an ending written. It helped them move forward.
So, I will leave this one question floating in cyberspace for you to ponder - What would you do if this was your situation?
Until later . . .
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froggie knits like crazy by Tracey M. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at www.froggieknitslikecrazy.com.
1 comment:
(Coming here by way of your blogstalker wish on the Rav RAK group!)
I'm not sure if you meant, "What would you do if a loved one were murdered and you got to ask the murderer questions?" or "What questions do you carry with you that you need answers to in order to move on?" Since I like the second question better, I'll answer that one. ;)
I'm the kind of person who likes to ask questions some people are uncomfortable asking — specifically because I seek the kind of closure and information you're talking (writing ;)) about here. I had a friend say once that I was the only person she knew who could say anything to anyone at any time. It's not completely true — one thing I really dislike doing is asking a question I know won't be answered properly.
And pretty much all of my unresolved questions come from situations like that: Ones where I did ask the question, but people weren't honest or weren't willing to talk; or ones where I didn't bother even asking because I knew from people's behavior that asking wouldn't do any good.
I usually want to know, basically, whether people intentionally cause hurt, and if they don't, I want to see that they now realize *how* they caused hurt, so they can choose not to do so again. And I want to know if they care enough about other people to make that effort. I don't know what kind of closure other people are looking for, necessarily, but I'm always looking for character closure — what should I think of this person who has done X?
Aaand ... I went on a longer blather about this on my own blog: http://bit.ly/6pCM6r
Congrats, you inspired a post! ;D
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