Failure

Recently, one of my Facebook friends posed the question, "What would you do if you couldn't fail?" The question was based on the quote by Robert Schuller, "What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?"

This question has crept in and out of my random thoughts since I first saw the posting as this is a very timely question for me. What if I couldn't fail . . .

When I think of the possibility of not failing my immediate thought is, "Oh, what a great world that would be to live in." The idea of not being able to fail sounds like Utopia.

After basking in the idea of this Utopia for a bit my mind then came around to the reality, that even Utopia most likely has its flaws and I'm not 100% sure it's a place I would want to take up residence after all. . .

For me, the problem with idea of not being able to fail is that it wouldn't allow me truly to know what it means to succeed. No matter how much I wish for things to be easy, I believe that though the destination is important it is the journey there that makes it meaningful. Sometimes that meaning includes experiencing failure before experiencing success.

The other problem I have with this idea of not being able to fail is there are few things that I haven't gone after because I was afraid to fail. As a result I can't begin contemplate what there would be to go after in this ideal scenario. (Ok, maybe something really far fetched, but I'm trying to stay grounded somewhat.)

Those that have known me for a many years know more often than not I try to defy the odds that are against me. However, over the past year I surrendered this part of myself and let the odds define who I was and what I went after.

That part of my life is over.

And I'm glad it's over. It wasn't me. I wanted to be me because I felt it was an easier path to ride then the one I really wanted to take. From this experience I learned that it is sometimes harder to ride the perceived "easy path" than the one you knew you're meant to be on; the path that may hold a greater potential for failure.

To quote Beverly Sills - an American operatic soprano, - "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."

After my year of not trying, I would agree with Ms. Sills.

For several weeks I've been starting to work towards something that I once thought was not an option for me. Something I had told myself I couldn't do. Something I was afraid to take on because I was afraid of failing.

As I near the end of the first part of this journey, there is still a part of me that wonders about the outcome. What if it is not how I wish it to be? What if I fail? I've had my moments over the past couple of days with these concerns. I've even considered quitting without even trying only to come back to the same place I always do - it's not me to just give up. In the end I keep reminding myself that I am doing my part and fate does the rest. Should the outcome of current journey not turnout with the desired result, I will not feel as though I have failed. For at the very least I will have succeeded merely because I tried.

Until later . . .