Dear Diary . . .

Last night, as I shuffled through the many boxes filled with items from years gone by, I came upon several of my diaries. The oldest of these diaries is from 1985. Gosh, it seems like a lifetime ago. I still remember the day my aunt gave it to me. I proudly marked the date that I started writing in it on the inside cover (11-30-1985) and similarly marked the date when it was completed six years later (11-30-1991). As you can tell I didn't write in it religiously. The most recent diary was started last January. Or, wait, I mean "journal" as that is the grown-up word for diary. Regardless, like my first one I haven't written in it consistently. Entries in the latest and greatest span on and off for a period of six months. It seems after I returned from my trip to Boston I failed to continue my entries. In between my oldest diary and the latest version I have had countless others that were started, but never finished. Most of them were started to chronicle specific events in my life, but as I seem to do often, I let the happenings of my life take over things and my writing was cast aside.

I chuckle inside when I read some of these diaries because I can totally see myself having the reaction I did to the given situations. Also, I think it's funny to look at the "extras" as well. You know what I'm talking about . . . the drawings and endless hearts adorned with the names of my then crush or boyfriend.


Of all the diaries found last night, the one I found the most interesting was the one from my junior year high school English class. Mrs. Dulmalski's class. In all honesty I forgot about that journal (that is what it says on the front of the composition notebook - "Journal"). All I really remember from Mrs. D's class is suffering through reading "Huck Finn" and then breezing through "The Great Gatsby." Oh, and also trying to get Mrs. D on one of her rambling tangents about when she was our age and in school. I admit I was one of the ones that egged her on to do this. Listening to her stories about the nuns was way better than listening to a lesson. The best part was that she knew she was on one of her tangents and couldn't/wouldn't stop herself

Anyhow, back to this journal. . . So, I found a journal from my junior year English class. I started browsing through it and found it just amazing because a lot of the things I am passionate about now are similar to what I wrote about back then. One of the more interesting entries was about "Goals to Achieve." These are things I wanted to achieve in my lifetime. This entry hit close to home. The main reason it hit home so much mainly has to do with the fact that some of the things I put down then are things I would list without a second thought now. Also, I laugh at this entry because there are some things that aren't so much goals as they are things I hoped for. And, then there are others that truly showcase that I've always "reached for the stars."

Regardless of where they fall, here is my list of Goals to Achieve from when I was around 17-years-old:

* Finish college with a degree

* Learn to speak two foreign languages

* Travel around Europe

* Camp in the mountains

* Keep in touch with everyone I want to after graduation

* Learn how to stop biting my nails every time I get nervous

* Learn to take professional pictures

* Lose a pant size

* Live to see my 100th birthday in 2075

* Develop my singing talent

* Develop my dancing skills

* Always push myself to achieve more than I have

* Influence political people on important issues

* Climb Mt. Everest

* Become famous

* Stay healthy

* Die peacefully

* Help people

Ok, so some of these I don't have a lot of control over - like living to my 100th birthday or how I die. Others are clearly things I hoped would happen for me one day. The remainder are either things I have either achieved already, am on my way to achieving or would reevaluate all together.

What I think is most interesting is looking back to see where I was then, looking in the mirror to see where I am now and looking forward to see where I wish to go in the future. I think in some way it all blends together.

Until later. . . .