Make A Decision And Don't Look Back?

Merriam-Webster online defines Regret as follows:

"1. a : to mourn the loss or death of b : to miss very much

2 : to be very sorry for "

I rarely regret my actions. Sorry for them, yes, regret them not necessarily. I believe things happen for a reason and make us who we are. In the long run, I believe I am a better person today than I was yesterday and will be a better person tomorrow than I am today because of my choices. Even the choices that may have not been the best ones. They have made me whom I am and I have learned from them. (At least in theory.)

So why look back? Well, I think it's only human to periodically look back and reflect on the past and wonder if the grass really would have been "greener on the other side."

This week, like on "This American Life," my Thursday post will be written in "acts." I'll be looking at some paths I didn't take in life that I periodically look back upon and think "what if?"

Act One: The Education Not Taken

Act Two: The Career Not Taken

Act Three: The Boy Not Taken


Act One: The Education Not Taken

Education.

As I mentioned last week, I love learning. If I could figure out a way to get paid to learn I would jump on the opportunity in a heartbeat.

I have never had much faith in myself academically and though I had solid grades, my SAT and ACT scores painted a different picture. (Have I mentioned my thoughts on standardized testing lately?)

Instead of taking a chance and applying to some of my "dream" colleges, I applied to those I was sure I'd be accepted to - for undergraduate AND graduate school. Even though there was some doubt on whether I'd get in to TCU I was still significantly confident that I would make it in - especially as a transfer student.

If I could change this part of my life, I would have taken more of a chance when applying to schools. I would have sent a few applications to schools where my odds were not as great. Maybe I would have been pleasantly surprised. Who knows where that education and school affiliation would have taken me in my life and career? Perhaps I would have pursued a different course of study.

And, so the questions about the path not taken begin . . .



Act Two: The Career Not Taken

This is one of the things I will definitely put on a "regret" list any day of the week.

BFF and I are radio stars. Well, at least once upon a time we were. I have proof... it's on a recorded cassette tape I keep with random items from my childhood. We had our own radio show. At least that one summer afternoon we did. That was my only taste of being a "Radio DJ."

In Jr. High, one of the local DJs came to our school and talked to our class about broadcasting. I was memorized and my interest was peaked even more then it was before. A few years later, I received the chance to audition for a spot on my high school's radio station. In my heart of hearts, I pinpoint this as one of those moments that changed the course of my life. I stood there for at least a good 10 minutes debating about what I was going to do. It was like flipping a coin. Heads - Yes, I'll audition. Tails - No way in hell!

Inside, my outgoing self was screaming, "Seriously! You're considering not doing this? How can that be?" On the outside, my painfully shy self quickly muzzled my outgoing self just enough to pass-up the opportunity. That next fall, during my junior year of high school, I joined the yearbook staff. That was the start of my interest in journalism which would eventually lead me to pursue a degree in Advertising/Public Relations.

Over the years I can't tell you how many times I think about that moment. Especially during a period of time over the past year that I had the chance to meet some local radio personalities and see them working. As I watched them perform I kept wondering, "What if?"


And the questions about the path not taken continue . . .


Act Three: The Boy Not Taken

In the beginning of our relationship, I was talking to three different guys. The Ex, Deli Guy and Phone Guy. The Ex knew about Deli Guy, but he didn't know about Phone Guy. Actually, BFF didn't even know about PG. It was evident from the very beginning that there was nothing there. So, it was just The Ex and DG. Like I said, The Ex knew about "the other guy." I think that was clue number 1,000 that I was way more into TE. BFF once asked me if I ever wondered what would have happened if I had chosen DG instead of TE. Definite NO. He's not the "what if" boy. The boy I used to wonder about was many years earlier. Someone I thought would always be there and like any perfect fairy tale I would end up with. What they don't tell you about fairy tales is that part of "happily ever after" is timing. Sometimes timing we can't control even when we would like to.

It was after the first of the year and we agreed to go out for dinner that cold Friday evening. I actually remember the conversation like it was yesterday. We weren't very decisive, but we eventually agreed upon a restaurant.

As we waited for our table I internally debated with myself when I was going to bring it up. Tonight was the night I wanted to talk about the possibility of there being an "us" again. I was ready to take the plunge. However, apparently my gut wasn't because we spent the whole evening talking about everything except "us." Not to long after that he met his wife. I was shattered. I mean completely shattered. Whenever we spoke and he mentioned his problems with her I secretly hoped this meant they were breaking up. (I know! I'm an awful friend!) They didn't break up. As I mentioned, she is his wife now.

The beauty of this "act" is that this is one path not taken I have an answer for. It is one path I am thankful I did not take even though at the time I was on the totally opposite end of the spectrum. Our love story would not have ended "happily ever after." Actually, I believe the pursuit of happily ever after would have damaged our relationship (our friendship) more than anything. This is one path that thrived on possibility rather than practicality.

Ok, so maybe the questions actually do stop (at least for this path they do) . . .



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Now that I have shared my thoughts on "the path not taken," I encourage you to read what my blogging sisters have to say about their "paths not taken."

Jenn @ Charmingly Random

Mel @ Me!!!

Shara @ Desperate Madness

Until later . . .