Defining The Moment

It's week two of the blog project.

This week, Mel asked us to talk about what experience for us has been the most legendary. (Or, what would be legendary if we got the opportunity to experience it?)

Thus far, 2011 has been a bit of a whirlwind. I'd say I wonder where the first ninety days have gone, and what I've been up to, but the truth is I know exactly where they've gone and what I've been up to .... pursuing my life map.

As part of this pursuit, I was tasked with writing a personal statement. From January to mid-February working on this statement was difficult. I was pre-occupied with other things I needed to prepare for. The problem with this was that I needed to have my personal statement completed by March - or at least that was my first deadline. This meant having all the words in their final format and ready to go by February 25th-ish at the very latest. When you are first starting on something like this around the 15th of the month that is quite a task to take on.

Thankfully, cranking out papers on a tight deadline is one of my specialties. I've been doing this since high school, and with much positive feedback. This was not an exception to my past experiences. I successfully completed the statement, however I felt something was missing. Though completely sincere and honest it felt a bit contrived. I would repeatedly tell my friends, "It's good, but it's not great."

"Lucky" for me, I would get another chance to write the personal statement I felt I had failed to write the first time around. To say this statement consumed my life is an understatement. When I wasn't working on it, I was thinking about it. I can't even tell you the number of hours I put into it - surely it was a hell-of a lot more than I did the first one.

Aside from any minor edits, I finished my statement on Wednesday, March 16th around 7/8pm. I was sitting at a Caribou Coffee House at the time. After hitting the period key for the last time, I jumped out of my seat and started dancing. I didn't care that I was out in public making a fool of myself; I was thrilled to be done, and more importantly elated because I had just written the statement that truly represented me and what I wanted to say.

My statement was about the hardest moment in time I've ever experienced. An experience that had a significant impact on my life, and on me as a person.

Since having this experience I have always wanted to write about it, but I never had the strength to do so. Whenever I've tried, the end product was always something overly emotional. This is not a bad thing as it was an emotional set of circumstances; however, I longed to be able to tell my story in a objective, yet powerful manner. I didn't want the impact of the experience to be overshadowed by the emotion.

After completing my statement, I sent it off to a few people I knew for feedback. The responses I received were positive. Still, I wondered if the responses were tainted with bias because these were people who knew me and knew what I had been through. That is when I sought out individuals who didn't know me from Adam. I wanted a strangers perspective. Once again, the feedback was positive. I had achieved my objective. I had written a smart, articulate and meaningful piece that captured the essence of what I had been through and the impact it had on me.

This writing also accomplished two other things I had not anticipated . . .

An unexpected result of writing this statement was that it lifted a weight I had been carrying around with me for so long. Though I had longed to lift this weight off my shoulder, I had questioned for sometime if I would ever be able to. What I went through was significant and something that, rightfully so, has changed me. However, I didn't want it to change me SO much that I was no longer the person I once knew as myself. Almost instantly after finishing the statement I noticed a difference. It sounds funny to say, but I felt lighter. I even commented to my friends M and BFF this very fact. I told them I thought this statement just might be larger than I had originally anticipated. It was no longer just a personal statement; it was a life statement. I can never fully articulate how this moment felt, but I know it was legendary. I was turning a major corner.

The second thing this writing helped me accomplish was something I had wanted to do for some time. This writing, helped me to define the moment. There comes a time in the course of life after such significant circumstances that you have to decide whether you're going to let the moment define you or if you are going to define the moment. I've been fighting for a long time to stop letting this moment define me. Through my writing, I finally took the opportunity to defined the moment. I laid out a course for which I wish to travel that I feel will turn a once painful experience into one that can help others.

Though a fairly recent experience, my story is legendary as it marks a turning point for me - and my life. In only few weeks I have already retold this story to many I know. They all sit in amazement as they can already see there is a difference. They see how calmly I talk about this part of my life and outline the path I wish to follow to move this from a once painful place to a place filled with hope and promise. At the risk of sounding cliche, I am working on turning lemons into lemonade.

For me, this is a bizarre place to reside. Having lived in the shadows of calm for so long the adjustment period, like any move, will probably take some time. I recognize I will never truly be the person I use to be, but I am confident I am not as far away from that person as I once thought I was.

Legendary . . .


Now that I have shared with you my legendary moment, I encourage you to read what my fellow blogger have to say about theirs:javascript:void(0)

MerrylandGirl (Melissa)
Mom of Many (Susanna)
momarock (Sara)



Until later . . .