The Result of Thinking Deeply

BFF wrote me an e-mail Friday after reading my latest and greatest blog entry to let me know that she really liked when I wrote thought proving entries vs. ones about my projects, yarn and stitch because they can't relate to any of that. Ok, fair enough as BFF is not a knitter nor a crocheter. BFF then went on to thank me for giving them another chance at our friendship. This is where the e-mail took a turn I wasn't expecting. (Now BFF was getting deep) I guess I just didn't expect BFF to bring it up. I was under the impression we had cleared the air about all that had taken place a long time ago.

Apparently, BFF's message stemmed from my comments in that particular post on forgiveness. Several years back BFF and I had a BIG falling out. No one who knew us had anticipated what happened between us. All our common friends likened the fallout to a one main disagreement, but in reality I believe it was something that had been building between us for sometime. Regardless of the cause we didn't speak for a good year or two. During that time, some huge events in our lives take place. BFF became a parent and I became engaged and was preparing to get married. I have to admit it was strange not to be part of BFF's first time parent experience (I had always anticipated being Auntie Froggie to her kids) and furthermore not having BFF as part of our wedding was unbelievable. I can't remember exactly when BFF and I started "talking" again however we eventually did. This talking mainly consisted of e-mailing. At the time, the e-mail relationship seemed to work well for us. At that point I don't know that I had totally forgiven BFF for what happened, but I knew I wanted to forgive and move forward. Last year, when my world completely unraveled in a blink of an eye BFF was there for me without question. I don't think I had actually said the words "I forgive you" at that point, but I know BFF knew I did and I knew BFF had forgiven me. Since then we've touch upon past events, but never had a full out conversation about it. We figure it's best to keep the past in the past. However, from time-to-time someone will spark a "thank you" message or something of that sort -- my blog entry being the spark for this particular "thank you."

It wasn't until BFF's recent e-mail that I thought of the "closure letter" that I received after our fall out. In it BFF commented that maybe one day we'd be brought back together again and renew our friendship. At the time I thought there was a better chance of winning the war in Iraq than us ever being good friends again - I guess I was wrong (and I'm glad I was).

All this rambling brings me to two points:

First, forgiveness is a good thing - on so many levels and regardless of who is doing the forgiving. Secondly, don't assume you know what you will feel down the line about something - you just might shock yourself.

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So, when I walk I do A LOT of thinking. It's only natural. Unless I'm with someone my mind is bound to wonder. Saturday, as I took my first real walk of the season at one point I started to think about Joe Wishnoff.

Simply put, Joe was someone I knew for a brief time prior to his death in 2008 and found to be very inspirational. Why I was thinking about him has to do with what I wrote on my old blog after his death. In short, I wrote that I aspired to be like Joe and that he taught me that you need to live every day to the fullest. (That's the super Cliff Notes version). It all sounds well and good, but in the midst of life events I forgot about all this aspiration of mine. I guess the important part is that I've remembered and that I can now continue to strive towards that goal.

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There is a poem that talks about how people come in your life for either a Season, Reason or A Lifetime. There is a line that in the poem that really stands out to me. It's about people that come into your life for a Lifetime. . . . " LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life."

I always thought that the "Lifetime" relationship had to be someone you actually have a relationship with your whole life. Upon further reflection I think that this can also be someone who was in your life, but is no longer.

It's someone you will always love and/or learned from regardless of why they left your life.

Until later . . .