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23.6.09

Broken Record

I've been feeling like a broken record lately. Repeating myself a lot - at least to those who know me in real life. That is when I do talk. I've had a lot more "quiet" moments lately. Yes, I've been giving those around me an auditory break from my fantastic voice. All this really means is that I've got a lot on my mind that I need to sort through.

I feel like I have too many pots on the burner right now and none of them are boiling. I'm just sitting waiting for one, or all of them, to at the very least simmer. To add to everything the most exciting "pot" is the one I can't talk about right now and the not so great one can be a free-for-all. It figures, I'm allowed to speak of the bad, but not the good. Also, right now I'm just preoccupied with an important decision I have to make soon. A decision that seemed so far away once upon a time. Being the person that I am, I have already listed out the pros and cons of each direction I can go with things. Now I just have to figure out what my gut is telling me. It usually leads me in the right direction.

The effects of my big decisions are amazing. Well, at least decisions one and three. I had to unexpectedly put two on the back-burner. I'm hoping though that I can move forward soon with number two.

Oh, and to put any speculation to rest - no, I will not be knitting any baby blankets for an arrival of my own. I know some of the above could be misconstrued to read as such.


My weekend ended on a crazy note. An unexpected note. Sunday, I got home and was going about my evening when I got an instant message from someone I thought was dead. Well, I figured they weren't literally dead - more like figuratively. Their resurrection and entrance back into my life was unexpected and left me with little to say. "Wow! Just wow!" I think I must have typed that at least 50 times. To leave me speechless is hard to do. (I usually have more than enough to say about almost anything.) The conversation was awkward and left me right back where our last conversation had - hanging by a string not knowing when I would hear from them next. This time I wasn't hurt as I had been the last time. I just hope that they will find a path in life that will make them happy. That's all I want for those that I care about. They did leave me with something "deep" to think about. During our conversation, they said they didn't know who they were anymore. Hmmmm . . . Do any of us really know who we are fully?

Until later . . .

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are you and you do it better than anyone else! :)

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